There seems to be a lot of gay Christian men and women on the net who are talking about reconciling their faith with their homosexuality. Until sometime last year I was both homophobic and gay, and I would have thought that the idea of reconciling faith with homosexuality was inherently heretical. Doesn’t the Bible clearly say that homosexuals would not inherit the Kingdom of heaven? So how can two mutually exclusive states be reconciled?

My journey over the last twelve months has taken me many places emotionally and mentally. I listen to both Focus on the Family and the GCN radio. I subscribe to conservative Catholic newspapers and read Sojourners online. I read Brian McLaren and Peter Kreeft. I am enamoured with the theology of James Alison and challenged by the writings of Richard B. Hays. There are so many divergent views out there, I wonder how some of these people of God have come to hold rigidly to the positions they hold to.

But I digress. Reconciliation of faith and homosexuality… every homosexual Christian has to at some point seek to explain and understand their experience of sexuality in the context of their faith, and to understand their faith as it speaks to their sexuality. Some of us seem to be content with settle for believing that God sees homosexuality as an abomination, and hence we attempt to find peace by living our faith and denying our homosexuality. We find and accept spurious psychological and societal explanations for our same-sex attractions, and adhere to lofty theological arguments about sexuality based on the creations myths found in Genesis. Others of us find this process extremely tedious, unproductive, and ultimately untenable. We are forced to adjust our beliefs about the Bible, about God, and about ourselves. As with any other person, we cannot tolerate a faith that does not have room for us. Reconciliation. It’s a word that describes for me where I am in this journey of life. I am not content, yet, with either of these approaches to reconciling my faith with my sexuality. Indeed, to say I am discontent would be a gross understatement. It is more like finding myself in a storm. A perfect storm. And Jesus is asleep in my boat.