Feeling anxious.

My beloved is going to attend the Exodus Global Alliance conference in Toronto this week. I felt good about saying that I wasn’t really interested in attending… and since she doesn’t drive I thought that would be it. I said if she wanted to go, that’s okay with me – so she’s figured out a way to go. Not sure where this will lead.

Bridgeout posted this article by Anita at Grace Unfolding. There’s lots to make me think here: Some excerpts:

Why are you gay?

What’s the first answer that comes to your mind?

  • I’m being tested by God to see if I’ll remain obedient and faithful.
  • I’m being tempted by the enemy who wants to destroy me.
  • I was born with a defect in my personality or a genetic flaw.
  • Something happened to me in my childhood.
  • I gave into sin because I was spiritually weak.
  • I was just born gay.
  • I’m not really gay. I only fell in love with a woman.

Depending on where you are in the reconciliation process your answer to the question might be different today than it was last week or last month, and different than it might be a year from now. At some point early on in my own experience I tried them all on for size, sometimes all at once which made for some really crazy and confusing thinking and if these uncertain answers shared any common thread it was this, that the bottom line reason for why I was gay came down to being my fault. It was my choice, my weakness, my genetic makeup, my quirky predisposition, my sin.…

As GLBTQ Christians we have a unique ministry in the middle. We stand with one foot in the GLBTQ community and the other in the church and by our very lives we say to both that one doesn’t exclude the other. To the GLBTQ community we bring the reality of God’s grace to those who have experienced personally and collectively rejection and abuse in God’s name, and to the church we bring the constant reminder that the Gospel of Jesus, rather than dogma or doctrine, lays at the center of the Christian faith. In our very lives we’ve brought Christian and queer together. We’ve found a way to resolve the conflict, to reconcile these two pieces of our very identity and so if we can bridge that space within our own hearts, we bring hope that the same can unfold among GLBTQ people and the Church. There’s a place for Christ in the GLBTQ community. There’s a place for GLBTQ people in the church. We know this because there’s room in our lives for both to simply be.…

If that’s where you’re at I’m going to suggest you take on a little project. Here it is. For the next four days imagine that what I’ve just written is true; that you have the sexual orientation or the gender identity you have because God has given you a special calling and ministry. If four days is too long then just do it for two days. Just two. For the next two days when you pray, thank God for the gift He’s entrusted to your care and ask for guidance in living out your call in the day before you. When you rise from your prayers and move into your day, do so with the confidence and humility that your life is a living epistle read by all of the grace and love and awesome wonder that is God in Christ Jesus.…

Lots to think about.